The art of communicating

 

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I watched as people streamed into the auditorium to listen to a much-respected and well-known preacher. There was a lot of excitement in the audience, and expectations were high. This was the first day of a three-day conference, and the speaker bombed. His sermon fell flat, and the audience left disappointed. The next morning, he spent in conversation with the local pastor before isolating himself. That evening, the congregation dragged themselves into the church. The chattering and shuffling of the night before were gone. There was an air of inevitability. The sermon and meeting as a whole was a resounding success. What changed? The preacher was the same, the venue was the same, and the audience was the same.

In the modern world, communication has become a science all on its own, a necessary subject to master if you wish to be successful. You need to be able to communicate if you wish to sell something, advertise, write, teach, lead, or even apply for a job.

Most business executives will be able to tell you about the seven C’s of business communication: complete, concise, considerate, concrete, clear, courteous, and correct’. In addition, they'll also be able to tell you about the four P's of marketing: product, price, promotion, and place, which are important when introducing a product or service to the public. And then there are the five M’s of business management: money, manpower, machines, materials, and method. What this all means is that to be a successful communicator, you need to know and understand the language of business, i.e. the acronyms, the abbreviations, and the products etc., they will also tell you that when it comes to communicating you must know your audience, i.e. clients, staff, customers, congregation, students, etc. They will also tell you that while you are communicating, you must maintain eye contact and study body language, which can convey far more than the words being spoken and is just as important as your oral and written skills. And for good measure, you will also be told how important it is to follow up on your communications to get the results.

But at the end of the day, when we cut through all the jargon, communication skill boils down to getting the message across as concisely and effectively as one can – be it advertising, sales, purchases, office memo, motivational courses, or the myriad of ways in which information is transferred. Time is money, and money cannot be wasted on endless explanations, argument and counter-argument, direction and redirection.

Image by Jose R. Cabello from Pixabay

Effective communication, however, is not a one-way street. Real communication should always elicit a response, either compliant or resistant, for or against. For the communication to be considered effective, the reaction to the message is just as important as the message itself.

We see this in Genesis 18 – the Lord appeared to Abraham and revealed His plans for the future to him. He told Abraham that he would be the founding father of a great nation and that he was part of God’s plan to bless the world and redeem it. Abraham happily agreed to be part of the plan. God had taken the trouble to find out what moved Abraham’s heart. Then, the Lord demonstrated a second skill needed by communicators and speakers.

Upon leaving Abraham, God ‘looked toward Sodom’ with the intent to destroy it. Abraham, His new 'partner',  was unaware of what He was about to do.

And the LORD said, Shall I hide from Abraham that thing which I do;

Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? (Genesis 18:17-18)

God trusted His audience. Abraham had a vested interest in what was going on in Sodom. His nephew, Lot, lived there. In contrast to his response to the first message, Abraham did not agree with this plan and argued for the preservation of Sodom and Gomorrah. He did not press his argument as far as he possibly could, and the two cities were destroyed. Nonetheless, both sides had an opportunity to express their opinion directly and forthrightly. Trusting your audience means putting yourself out there, laying your cards on the table. It is amazing how a lack of trust can be conveyed without a word being spoken, and once your audience realizes this, they are lost to you.

However, while Abraham was interceding for the doomed cities, another skill was revealed by the Lord that every communicator would do well to acquire. It is, above all, the most important skill any speaker can have. Throughout their conversation, all the while that Abraham continued to shift the goalposts and press for the Lord to change His mind, God listened patiently.

This is what happened at the conference I mentioned at the start of this article. The preacher, on the second day, took the time to listen to the heart of the audience. What did they need? What was foremost on their hearts? We all have gifts and talents, and they should be used for the benefit of others. Most speakers and motivators will agree that true communication begins with listening and not speaking.

There is a story told of a young man who approached the philosopher Socrates with a request to be taught the art of oratory, but with the request came an endless flow of words, explanations and excuses until Socrates placed his hand over the young man’s mouth and said – “Young man, I will teach you, but I will have to charge you double.”

“Why?” asked the young man. “Because I will have to teach you two things – first, how to hold your tongue and only then, how to use it,” was Socrates' reply.

The Word of God is full of Wisdom, and through James, God tells us:

Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (James 1:19)

Dale Carnegie, in his book, ‘How to win friends and influence people’, wrote that you can make more friends in two weeks by becoming a good listener than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you.

He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction. (Prov.13:3)

The art of communicating, which by extension is the art of winning hearts and minds, begins with the art of listening. Even the most senior executives need to listen to market trends, macro- and micro environment factors, and the emotions of the people within their organizations.

Albert Barnes (1796 – 1870), pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia, wrote, “Men have two ears and but one tongue, that they should hear more than they speak. The ears are always open, ever ready to receive instruction, but the tongue is surrounded with a double row of teeth, to hedge it in, and to keep it within proper bounds” – and if necessary, to bite the tongue (my notes).

The seven C’s, the 4 P's, and the 5 M's of business are all necessary and need to be learnt, but when all is said and done, you must know the three L’s of communication to succeed in any field - listen, listen, listen. God bless you.

Bibliography

https://www.studylight.org/commentaries/eng/bnb.html Barnes, Albert. "Barnes' Notes on the Whole Bible". 1870. Accessed 18 May 2023. 20h20.

How to win friends and influence people. Dale Carnegie. 1936.

All Scripture is quoted from the King James Version of the Holy Bible.